Born pickled a bundle of brine, spit out with the pigs, stepped on, tossed aside, buried under the muddy rugs— the carpet chorus muffled, rolled up and stained with the slap of hands, wet dirt naming me sinner, naming me fool, while the silence screamed back.
Junk on my hands but my fists stayed open— bound wrists, tight-rope veins walking the thin edge of despair, slippery slopes greased by whispers, shadows hoarding truths behind my spine.
I dreamed of the bottom of the bag— hiding in burlap shadows, draped over my shoulder, the sack of sorrow dragged uphill. The sun was a dagger, its glare split my skull, its fire pushed me to the peak where the earth yawned open.
And I fell.
Down through the dirt, down to the roots that never asked forgiveness, that held the mud and called it life.
I planted my name there, deep in the soil. The weeds forgave me.
I sprouted new hands, climbed the hill backward— not to escape but to meet the sunrise and the bruised boy I’d left behind.
I held his face in my palms. I said, “We are here now.” And he disappeared into the light.
The state is burning again, and this time, it’s not just the trees. No, my friend, California has slipped its tenuous grasp on sanity, plunged headfirst into a Dantean nightmare with flames licking at the edges of every gilded promise. The land of milk and honey is now a charred wasteland of smog-choked skies and people stumbling through ash like extras in a post-apocalyptic snuff film.
I pretend to light a cigarette—an act of rebellion or stupidity, depending on your perspective— starring at the horizon. The sun was a malevolent orange orb, veiled in toxic haze, casting a sickly glow over the melting suburbs. Somewhere in the hills, tech billionaires were watching their mansions turn to soot while clutching useless NFTs like talismans against the inferno. You could almost hear them scream, “Alexa, stop the fire!”
Noah Berger/AP Photo
This is California, where dreams are sold on credit and reality comes with a steep interest rate. A state that promises paradise but delivers apocalypse on demand. The fires, they say, are “natural.” A cleansing force, a rebalancing of ecosystems disrupted by decades of greed-fueled sprawl. But there’s nothing natural about it. Not when every acre of forest carries the weight of broken treaties and corporate negligence, not when every scorched town is a monument to the hollow promises of progress.
The politicians, of course, are useless. Flaccid marionettes jerking off to the rhythm of kick drum, campaign dollars thudding into their off shore accounts, offering “thoughts and prayers” while fiddling with climate policies designed to appease both Greenpeace and ExxonMobil. It’s a delicate dance of double-speak and outright cowardice, and it would almost be funny if it weren’t so goddamned tragic.
And the people? Christ, the people. Desperate and dazed, fleeing in Teslas with their organic soy candles and artisan kombucha tucked under their arms. Some fight the flames with garden hoses, others sit in traffic and weep, their cars packed with photo albums, pets, and the eerie realization that nothing they own is worth saving.
The sky above turns darker, almost biblical, and the smell of burning pine mixed with the acrid stench of melted plastic and singed dreams. Beautiful in a grotesque way, like watching a great empire crumble under the weight of its own hubris.
California will rise from this, of course. It always does. But what it rises into—that’s the real story. A phoenix or a chimera? A shining beacon of resilience or a festering hub of denial? Place your bets, folks, because the odds are as volatile as the stock market when the grid goes down.
As for me, I’ll keep chomping Nicorette and documenting, because someone needs to remember this madness. Someone needs to remind the survivors that the fires didn’t start in the forests—they started in our heads, in our hearts, in the searing heat of human ambition unchecked.
This is not the end of California. But it might be the beginning of something worse.
Let me set the stage: an airplane, five hours from Detroit to Los Angeles. A goddamn tin can full of sleep-deprived zombies and corporate swine, all clutching their pretzels and plastic cups like sacred relics. And me—drenched in sweat, reeking of stale, cheap scotch, tearing through little airline bottles like a lunatic on death row.
This wasn’t just drinking. No, this was a high-octane bender at 35,000 feet—a desperate attempt to defy the laws of physics and sanity. By hour three, the flight attendants were avoiding eye contact. By hour four, I was mumbling incoherent nonsense about the death of civility in America and demanding more ice. By the time we landed at LAX, I was less of a man and more of a biological weapon—a one-man disaster staggering off the plane with murder in my eyes and a thirst that could drown a small village.
Straight to the airport bar. The bartender looked at me like I’d just crawled out of the La Brea Tar Pits, but I waved a twenty at him and demanded a double. This was the routine, the sacred ritual: land, drink, repeat. The cities changed, the bars changed, but the mission was always the same—annihilation, pure and simple.
It wasn’t about fun. It wasn’t even about escape. It was about the necessary obliteration of self. The world was a strange, indifferent circus, and the only way to survive was to light yourself on fire and hope the flames kept the demons at bay.
But here’s the thing: they never stayed gone for long. Sobriety didn’t come to me as some grand revelation—no white light, no epiphany. It came because one day, the demons won. They dragged me down into a pit so deep and dark that even Jack Daniels couldn’t light the way out. But even in my discombobulated subconscious, I knew there was another Jack far more important in my near future. And a Samantha, whose birth opened my eyes to real miracles and shone a spotlight on the skull and crossbones of every bottle, glowing like Las Vegas from space.
Now, 24 years later, I’m sober. Clean. A goddamn Boy Scout. But I’m not stupid—I know the beast is still out there, pacing in the shadows, waiting for me to slip. And I won’t. Not now. Not ever. Even with the loss of my son Jack, the thought of diving back into the bottle just to escape that pain is as repulsive, grotesque, and cowardly as the former lush I used to be.
If someone put a gun to my head and told me to drink, I’d laugh. I’d tell them to shoot, because a bullet is quick, but one drink? That’s a slow, deliberate execution—a drawn-out death sentence dressed up as a good time.
Sobriety isn’t a victory parade. It’s a knife fight in a phone booth. But I’ll take that over waking up in an airport bathroom, trying to piece together what’s left of my soul.
This isn’t an ode to sobriety, where I tear a rotator cuff giving myself a proverbial pat on the back. It’s an extended middle finger to the beast that once ruled my head. And if that’s not worth raising a glass of sparkling water to, I don’t know what is.
The channels, the magazines, the sites—they’re all peddling the same poison under different labels, like snake oil in a kaleidoscope. The pundits, the hacks, the echo chambers disguised as platforms of truth: one chorus chants, “Democracy is over,” while the other screams, “They’re coming for your freedom!” Different flags, same battle hymn.
Some call it the Matrix, a web of manipulation so dense you can’t tell truth from propaganda. But let’s not flatter ourselves with cinematic metaphors. This isn’t some grand sci-fi conspiracy. This is humanity, stripped bare, its truest colors bleeding through like wine stains on cheap carpet. The educated look down on the working class with the smug disdain of someone who’s forgotten who fixes their plumbing or grows their food. And yet, why? Because intelligence without wisdom is just arrogance with better grammar.
The working class isn’t innocent either—eyes glued to screens, buying into their preferred flavor of outrage. They, too, love a good villain, and they’ll take whatever bogeyman the talking heads serve up.
And the intellectuals, oh, the intellectuals. They are often intensely stupid. The kind of stupid that comes with thinking you’re immune to manipulation because you’ve read Marx or Hayek or, god help us, a Twitter thread. They call themselves critical thinkers, but their critiques are as hollow as the echo chambers they inhabit.
What if one had to actually pick a side? Thank god we don’t, because there’s only one side: theirs. And “they” don’t care which team jersey you wear, as long as you’re on the field, playing their game. Democracy? Freedom? Those are just words they use to keep us running laps, convinced we’re winning something while they laugh from the VIP lounge.
So pick a side, if you must. Red or blue, left or right, Coke or Pepsi. It doesn’t matter. The scoreboard is rigged, the game already decided. And when it’s over, the only winners will be the ones who sold us the tickets.
Gratitude isn’t a hymn or a handshake. It’s a bruise you press to remember you survived. A quiet mutter to the chaos for sparing you—this time. It’s outliving a child but remembering the magical brilliance he brought you in just 19 years.
It’s not for the gods, the gurus, or the grifters. They’ve taken enough. Gratitude lives in the cracked things: the last drink in the bottle, the skulled wedge that hits the flag at 100mph and drops in the hole, the night that didn’t kill you.
Keep it small. Keep it sharp. Fold it in your pocket like a cheap map out of hell. And remember, you’ve been beaten but not defeated.
Uncivil Savages: The Erosion of Civility in a Savage Age
Civility, that once-vital lubricant of a functioning society, now teeters precariously on its last legs, kicked aside with all the grace of a drunken reveler who never liked the furniture to begin with. It is no longer simply neglected; it’s actively mocked—dismissed as the sanctuary of the timid, the foppish indulgence of those too weak for the robust sport of perpetual outrage. As we gaze into the murky waters of the next four years, the pertinent question isn’t whether civility will vanish entirely. No, it’s whether we’ll even remember what it looked like in the first place.
The Savage Within
The modern savage isn’t wielding a club or grunting in a cave; they’re armed with hashtags, shouting into echo chambers, or gleefully dissecting opposing views with the precision of an online executioner. Today’s weapons of choice are not crude but digital, their reach vast and their anonymity reassuring.
Social media, initially heralded as a tool for connecting the world, now functions as the coliseum of modern life. Algorithms, bless their little mechanical hearts, work tirelessly to ensure your biases are confirmed, your opponents vilified, and your indignation monetized. The result? A cacophony of tribal warfare where shouting replaces dialogue, and the loudest voice wins—not by merit but sheer decibels.
Progress? If you squint hard enough, maybe. For now, it looks a lot like shouting into a void where no one is listening.
The Next Four Years
Spoiler alert: things will probably get worse before they get better. Expect technology to turbocharge the descent, with AI crafting propaganda so perfectly attuned to your anxieties that you’ll almost thank it for ruining your day. Political leaders, meanwhile, will continue to treat governance as performance art, pandering to their bases with the finesse of carnival barkers.
Economic inequities, that ever-reliable tinderbox, will grow more pronounced, ensuring we all have someone else to blame for our frustrations. Society will fracture further into opposing camps, each more convinced of the other’s villainy.
But wait—there’s hope! It’s faint, like a candle in a gale, but hope nonetheless. History has an odd way of veering from the inevitable, often just as we’re about to walk off the cliff. Perhaps the collective fatigue of perpetual division will push us toward something better. Or perhaps not.
The Case for Civility
Let’s be clear: civility is not a genteel pat on the head or a spineless retreat from confrontation. True civility is a high-wire act, requiring strength, discipline, and the kind of self-control that feels almost quaint in an age of instant gratification.
Civility is the ability to wield words with care rather than as cudgels, to see disagreement as an opportunity rather than a threat. It’s not for the faint of heart; it takes guts to stay your hand—or your tweet—when outrage is just a click away.
Leaders have a part to play, but so do we all. Institutions, for all their flaws, can only do so much. The real work of civility begins at the individual level: in how we speak, how we listen, and—dare I say it—how we hold ourselves accountable for the tone we set.
A Savage Choice
“Uncivil savages” isn’t just a turn of phrase; it’s an epitaph in waiting. The choice before us is stark: cling to the transient thrill of division, orinvest in the far more arduous—and infinitely more rewarding—pursuit of shared humanity.
Civility is not a decorative frill on the tapestry of society; it’s the very thread holding it together. Lose it, and we’ll find ourselves unraveling at a pace that even our most cynical forebears would find alarming.
Here’s the irony: to rise above our basest instincts, to practice civility in the face of chaos, will require a kind of savagery of its own. The savagery of courage, of restraint, of refusing to give in to the cheap allure of anger.
Let’s hope we’ve got it in us—because if not, the only thing left to fight for will be the ashes of what could have been.
never let the outcome of an election decide your whiskey pour or your morning scowl. one single vote’s a pebble in a canyon – we toss it down, watch it fall, hear no echo.
they told us about checks and balances, a seesaw for suits to keep the beast tame, but some checks they roll overseas, a deposit here, a hand there, tucked safe and sound in the Alps, in the vaults with no names.
meanwhile, the talking heads tell you to pick a side, pick a tribe, pick a face from a screen, and let it roll you like a cheap cigarette.
so don’t get all unhinged if your horse didn’t come in, don’t hang your happiness on a bought-and-sold dream.
All my life I stumbled, staggered like a drunk at closing time, reaching for something, anything. I’d been told to find meaning in the sermons of men, the wisdom of books, the clink of coins in a beggar’s cup
it was all more of a junkie’s dream. The kind of thing you’d find slipped in between the folds of the Interzone, tucked inside the sweaty palm of some two-bit dealer with half his face gone, nodding off in the alley. I wasn’t looking for it, not really. But it found me. They always find you.
Years spent in the static haze, the off-channel white noise of existence. I moved through life like a virus spreads—covert, unnoticed, but always present, always creeping. Everything felt slippery, synthetic. The streets, the people. All part of a bad signal, fuzzing in and out of view. I tried to decode it, cracked open veins and heads alike, trying to read the messages in the blood and the circuitry. It all led nowhere. Circling the drain.
Then the tablet. Green. The color of rot, the color of new life. One third of the tricolor draped along the walls of the long, hollow corridor of time, reverberating with the somber hymns of Irish proverbs, and maybe, just maybe, carrying enough luck to turn pessimism into hope. Sort of like a coin toss, only with a tablet. I didn’t so much find it, it found me, pressed itself into my hand, throbbing like some living thing. Organic. Synthetic. All of the above. I swallowed it without thinking.
And then the world folded in on itself, a collapsing wave. Time ceased to have meaning, space unraveled into dimensions I didn’t believe existed—places where gravity was just another bad trip, a suggestion instead of a rule. The walls of the room bent, melted, reformed. Faces flickered, sliding in and out of their skulls. Bureaucrats with insect eyes and needle fingers. All the usual suspects.
The tablet wasn’t knowledge. It was beyond knowledge. It was access, a key to a hidden layer of reality, a frequency just out of reach unless you knew where to tune the vibrations. And there it was—the whole system laid bare. The machinery behind the facade. The puppet strings of control, the invisible hands pulling us all in circles.
The thing I’d been looking for in gutters and bars, in the eyes of strangers and the bottom of empty bottles. Turns out, it was the very thing that made me stop searching.
I don’t remember what was written on it. Maybe there was nothing. Maybe it was just the act of finding it that mattered. That green tablet wasn’t salvation, not in the way they sell it in churches or schools. It was just a reminder that the world, the one I had spent years fighting, didn’t give a damn. It never would. And finally, I no longer needed it.
I wasn’t stumbling anymore. My new found saunter suggested confidence, not arrogance—just the ease of a man who knew the system and could slip through its cracks unnoticed, the few eyes that caught me probably green with envy. But I always looked past them, through their lost souls, and left a simple inscription on their softened brains…
